One scenary, two different bodies. Both of these have happened to me in some form or another. For me, it was the difference between 97lbs a year ago, and 112 lbs 6 months ago. Fiction.



The sun is shining, and the scent of brine and seaweed fills your nostrils. 'Come on,' you say, turning around to smile at him. You've been working hard all summer for moments like this. Your bikini is underneath, and you confidently pull off your tank top. You know that if you looked down, your stomach would be flat and taunt between you hips bones. You wiggle out of your shorts. You know that you thighs are thin and toned, not touching. You let him stare at you; reveling in the success and endorphins that come with confidence. Kicking off your flip-flops, you run through the hot sand until the water laps at your feet. Turning around again, you see that he's still staring at you. Good. 'Coming or what,' you laugh. You leave him there, and run as far as you can until the water provides a viscous barricade. The saltry wind whips your hair out behind you, and the sun shines on you, just on you. You no longer care what he's doing, because this moment is about you. The sun beats down on you, and you smile. You've never felt so free.

Or

The sun is shining, and the scent of brine and seaweed fills your nostrils. You barely notice, because a disaster is coming. 'Come on,' he says, smiling at you. He whips off his shirt, and you stare. No, it's not a tsunami. The disaster is much worse then that- swimming.
'I don't like to swim,' you lie. He's waiting for you. There really is no choice. You wait until his back is turned and whip off your clothes as fast as you can, running through the hot sand to the safety of the water. But, it is ill timed. He turns around. You keep running, concious of you bloated stomach, your thighs, your arms, everything that you hate. 'The sand was hot,' you say, as you kneel into the water as soon as possible. You don't look at him, but hope he didn't he isn't wondering why he's with a fatass like the mirror told you this morning. The wind rustles your hair, and the sun beats down on you, but you don't really notice. All you can think about it is the fatness concealed, for the moment, under the water.
You really shouldn't have binged all those times. You knew that this moment would happen. Even the last minute fast didn't help. And now it is too late.

Let me tell you that the first one is MUCH more preferable. As you may have guessed. I write things like this alot, not about being thin. just short paragraphs like this to improve my english writing skills. My speech is fine, but writing english is so damn confusing, even after all this time. These (above) paragraphs help me create pictures in my mind and make me remember why I'm sitting here drinking diet coke and little else all day.

Chiara.

Ps, in italian CH is said like a K. I's are all said like the 'ee' in cheese. KEE-AWR-A. If only I got a quarter for all the times people have called me 'she-air-a'